Thursday, June 15, 2006

Boxed

tanty kick and scream rant tears disappointment, is this depression? I am so tired. I am so tired.
i don't want to be a teacher i hate it, i hate it. it's not the kids its the reality i am supposed to uphold. it's the reality i am supposed to project and assert as though i believe it contains truth. as though i have faith in something, anything.

i present a series of words strung together in what we might name sentences, sometimes i write them on the whiteboard in texta with capitals and commas as thought this were entirely natural. sometimes i refer to a dictionary or a grammar book and i tell them how to write. Correctly. as though i care to do that myself. as though I find no difficulty or problem with the idea of language, with the idea of Truth and Facts and Authority... as though i think any one reality is more reliable, acceptable, important than any other. but it is my role to talk talk talk comand sit jump stand run three laps drop write write write

how can i teach? how can i convey anything but a series of contradictions?

i have always broken rules, i never hand assignments in on time, i get panic attacks when attempting anything that involves assessment ... i don't like being pinned down, categorised, forced... but that is my role as Teacher... but then i can't simply leave because then what will i do? and i like the students i just don't want to assert 'a' reality...

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Tea for Two



SPIKE: Giles here is gonna teach me to be a Watcher. Says I got the stuff.

GILES: Spike's like a son to me.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Brenton says

The Rowe Report on the teaching of reading diminishes the significance of the cultures and communities of young people by treating these dimensions as ‘background’ which they can surmount through schooling. It expects teachers to view their students as an undifferentiated mass, except with regard to the scores they achieve on standardised tests. Teachers’ relationships with students (surely a vital ingredient in any learning) will be compromised by drilling and skilling and testing that will make it difficult – if not impossible – for them to respond to the needs of the young people in their care.

Young people only figure in the report as a ‘resource’ for Australia’s ‘social and economic prosperity’. The panacea for the social and economic challenges that Australia currently faces is phonics instruction. The absurdity of this proposition exposes the kind of ideological work which this report is doing.

So my response to recent media coverage by Caroline Milburn (/Age/, 15 May) and Justine Ferrari (/Australian/, 10 May) about the Federal Government’s decision to introduce a reading voucher program as an interim response to Rowe’s ‘inquiry’, and the concerns which have been voiced with respect to how the system should be administered, is to wonder: Why is this scheme being implemented at all? The report out of which this recommendation arises is a caricature of any kind of inquiry, and it would be better if this initiative, along with the rest of the report, were scrapped.

Associate Professor Brenton Doecke
Faculty of Education
Monash University, Vic.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Pea Soup

A soupy fog, deep set haze over Melbourne. Fairies in thick wigs flashing penises in the crisp cold air. I from the Glasshouse they from The Peel crossing paths. "Do I look like a straight girl?" I assert with my eyebrows, no words aloud, at the drag show penises displayed. My hat is cocked to one side my feet are kicked purposely forward in black polished boots... pea soup and ham thick white grey cold surrounds. then there are many gaps in the middle, the hardest parts to pin down all the parts where i am not dancing or driving home or waiting. but back at the Glasshouse dancing. talking. Andrea Porn Star never made it probably passed out on a couch or dancing in lights. Glasshouse has received a face lift. I remember reading about it. It has been a long time since i was doing the scene. Saturn after twenty nine years roars in motor cycle fire back with his searing iron staff my identity. Saturn returns helping me tie up my net of knowledge. now i am driving home though pea soup.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Self and Other in education: a response to Brenton Doecke

Brenton advocates rethinking our practices and constructions of 'knowledge' "to push beyond warm and fuzzy notions of 'diversity', and to begin to consider ways in which to fracture inclusive rhetoric." An example of fuzzy, built upon bigoted, versions of 'embracing diversity' was visible in the library of my former school. There were several delightful images of 'different' (non-western, non-anglo, or non-'able') people all smiling and holding hands, presented with warm captions about how 'we' need to accept (their) difference. The principle made a song and dance at a staff meeting that focused on embracing diversity, helpfully providing a list of differences eg homosexuality, race, religion, disability, mental illness etc. Some people appeared convinced.

Strangely, at a school loudly proclaiming its open-mindedness, it really came as no surprise that actions would contradict pomp and slogans. While births, marriages and deaths have always been acknowledged by the school with messages on the notice board, flowers, cards and gifts etc, when the longtime same-sex partner of a senior member of staff passed away with no acknowledgement from the school the actual values of the school were blatantly visible. Therefore, every slogan, 'diversity meeting' and image added to the hypocrisy, this was far more sinister and hurtful than if no 'discussion' of diversity had ever been had. There was no 'genuine dialogue' but rather a deliverance of speeches from the top down, the word diversity simply performed as a series of marketing tools.

"At the moment the 'other' is being hived off into certain schools ..privileged state schools and private schools are protected from seeing the situation of those students. Everyone is caught up in structures and practices which make this act of 'seeing' increasingly more difficult." (Levinas sited by Brenton).

Not only is the 'other' student being 'hived off' but 'other' teachers are not employed in privileged schools. Referring again to the previous example, why is it that a school of 250 full time staff was made up almost entirely of anglo-saxon teachers with English as their first, and only language? The ethnic make up of the teachers does not reflect that of the students. The 'diversity' of students and teachers in this private school has very little in common with that of a state school less than five minutes drive away. What does that mean? What are the values and ethos held at each school and what does it matter anyway? Each to their own right?

"This is a logic of razor wire no less socially destructive than when it is applied to the refusal to acknowledge our obligations to asylum seekers. But confronting this situation is not a matter of soliciting concern about the plight of refugees or other disenfranchised groups, but of recognizing the ways in which our own situation is implicated with theirs, and exposing how at some deep level we are RESPONSIBLE for their plight." (Brenton)

This image of razor wire is present in Naomi Klein's Windows and Fences in which she explores the barriers that divide people and separate them from formerly public resources; "locking them away from much needed land and water, restricting their ability to move across boarders, to express political dissent, to demonstrate on public streets.." - These fences are growing bigger and stronger. In a world of surfaces and mirrors, where truth is relative, and people (consumers) are encouraged to individualize themselves, to separate themselves from all histories that are not advantageous, there is no guilt nor responsibility.

"These fences are as old as colonialism ...and fences have always been part of capitalism, the only way to protect property from would-be bandits.. but double standards.. of late becoming increasingly blatant.. meanwhile necessary fences are under attack: in the rush to privatization, the barriers that once existed between many public and private spaces" (for example in No Logo Klein talks about a student who was sent home from school because he wore a Pepsi tshirt on the day Coke was visiting (funding) the school). "Every protected space has been cracked open, only to be re-enclosed by the market" Klein p xviii-xix

"Mass privatization and deregulation have bred armies of locked-out people, whose services are no longer needed, whose lifestyles are written off as 'backward', whose basic needs go unmet.... entire continent (eg Africa) can find itself exiled to the global shadow world, off the map and off the news..." xxi So in what way then are 'we' responsible for 'them'? In what way does the way 'we' relate to 'them' determine outcomes? In what spaces and what forums can the Other speak? If it's all about want and have (does this relate to 'the pleasure principle'?) then we need not reflect on our practices and the impact we have on others.

I'm interested in the potential of the windows Klein calls 'political portals'. "Overnight the site is transformed into a kind of alternative global city where urgency replaces resignation, corporate logos need armed guards, people usurp cars, art is everywhere, strangers talk to each other, and the prospect of radical change in political course does not seem like an odd anachronistic idea but the most logical thought in the world" xxiv-xxv she goes on to describe Thai peasants "planting organic vegetables in over-irrigated golf courses..", showing how spaces can be subverted and reclaimed (perhaps to ask 'for how long' diminishes the achievement), "these protestors are quite serious in their desire to disrupt the current economic order, but their tactics reflect a dogged refusal to engage in classic power struggles: their goal...is to challenge power centralization"

Rather than operating within a reactive deficit model, where we exist within oppositional binaries (you're either with is or you're against us) we might form new alliances in supposed enemy camps, on mutually beneficial terms.... hm where might we look for models and examples of such undertakings? In what locations within schools does this currently happen?

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Swollen Sense of Size: skinny is fat

My hairdresser is a celebrity. With a celebrity bulge and a swollen self awareness.

She apologized as soon as i walked in for being dressed in track pants. I hadn't noticed. She apologized for being 'so fat'. I hadn't noticed. Before long, as she reconstructed my cherry red roots, she pulled up her top and showed me the bruises on her stomach. They were marble sized all over her back, belly and chest.

"Look how swollen i am, even my vagina's swollen. I'm in agony." It was Thursday evening. On Tuesday she'd had whatever the non-sucking version of 'lypo-suction' is called... and her middle was now blown up like a balloon she was also really down, not as chirpy as usual and sniping at her sister's twins who'd come to play in the salon.

"i have an appearance on Saturday. I'd chosen what i was going to ware. everyone's going to be saying gee she's put on weight but i haven't i'm just swollen." She says she wants to go on the cover of Ralph magazine "to show the world that bigger girls can be attractive too - when do they ever have my body shape on there?" She is five four, my hips are wider than her and I'm a size 10 (well 12 at this time of year when i lay about on the couch eating mars bars and pizza). Her breasts are big, sure, she has curves. But she's not a 'bigger girl’.

Then she tells me about her friend who exercises three-five hours a day "she's so tiny, her body is perfect, she has the smallest little bum, but you know what she told me? she wants to get lypo on her bum! she wants it to be flat so it goes straight up from her thighs! I told her you're crazy!"

As she begins to cut my fringe, a baby doll look this month, she drops the comb but cannot pick it up because her stomach is too swollen and everything hurts. She grabs another. I tell her about my repeated cellulite dream, where i have cellulite down to my knees, sometimes ankles, and everyone knows and i am so unhappy that i won't go out of the house and I want to die and suddenly i am on the cover of New Idea in bathers under the title "Celebes with Cellulite". We laugh and share other body stories. She paints my hair brown to cover the red, while i read about Nicole Richie's anorexia and count the orange peel on Paris Hilton's thighs.


For helpful definitions and discussions about cellulite visit:
http://www.celluliteusa.com/

* Reese Witherspoon has vowed never to strip on-screen again - because she has "cellulite and saggy boobs". http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/celebrity/4402004.htm